So I left the apartment on Saturday night for social activities. The night eventually led me to the Stinger bar in Williamsburg, which is often a harrowing place, though no exes were present in the ‘Burg that night. Instead, I was presented with masters of electro booty bass retard rock, the infamous duo, The International Male. With accompanying YMCA-style body movements, they chanted the following lines while the audience mimed along to their closing number:

P is for panties, flying through the air.
A is for the air, there’s a lot of panties there.
R is for rock, we will rock you day and night.
T is for temptation, we are very sexy, right?
Y because we love you…

Well, I can’t remember the rest really. The chant seemed to degenerate into “PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY” at some point as Roman and Diggie mutilated their keyboards. Anyway, all I really wanted was to point out the use of the word “panties” in a rock song — of which I wholeheartedly approve. I’d never seen so many shaggy-haired, Members Only jacketed youths dancing as one — they must have felt the same way I did. It was a truly life-changing experience.