T.J. and I just ate at Sushi Park (50% off!), so I figured I’d fill these puppies out while I digest a scrumptious meal of avocado rolls, shitake rolls, and kimchee rolls. God bless kimchee.

1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year? Well, I’ve managed to remain practically jobless since October of 2001. Damn skippy if that isn’t something. Okay, fine, I do have a job — but it’s so not a job job. Any job that leaves you reeking of garlic is not a real job, I say.

2. What was your biggest disappointment? I’m saving that for this Spring, when I get those MFA rejection letters. Can’t wait.

3. Will you be making any New Year’s resolutions? This year it’s a double whammy: the New Year’s Plus Bonus Twenty-Fifth Birthday Ultrasized Megaresolution. See, I read somewhere that the body begins its rapid deterioration beginning at age 25, so I’m going to get me in some shape. For instance, I will exercise. No, I mean, I’ll actually do it. And I’m going to engage in the practice of eating only until I’ve had enough, instead of eating until I feel as though my jeans will rupture. It’s been too easy for too long, folks!

4. Where will you be at midnight? Do you wish you could be somewhere else? Probably in bed, since I stupidly volunteered to work brunch on January 1. That’s actually where I’d like to be anyway, who am I kidding?

5. Aside from (possibly) staying up late, do you have any other New Year’s traditions? When we were little, my father and mother would encourage my brothers and I to nab a few saucepans and wooden spoons from the kitchen and bring them outside for a little impromptu noisemaking festivities. Needless to say, I will not be doing that this year.